I’m the opposite of who I think I am.
I’d like to be romantic, insightful, and funny for all of my days.
It’s been months of darkness, cigarettes, and confusion for me.
My light isn’t out, it’s dim..
Holding still that space of hope.
Hope that it’ll be okay.
At this point it’s not hope that she’ll come back to me.
It’s hope that I won’t drop dead from heartbreak.
The pain is excruciating.
The strength of my memories hurt me most.
I hurt me most.
Attachment to thoughts.
Who will I eat tacos with?
I am the victim.
Who will watch the previews before a film and quietly decide if she’d like to see that movie with me or not?
Who will I make out with as people leave the elevator and the doors close leaving us passionately together?
Fear of dying alone.
“Your mind is out of its mind.” -Rev Michael
Turn within and you won’t go without.