I’m a drug addict and an alcoholic.
My head wakes up long before I do in the mornings; but this morning.. the noise level of my alcoholic thinking was exceptionally loud, and debilitating. “The itty bitty shitty committee” as some call it, or radio KFUK.
I never hit the snooze on my alarm, and today I almost didn’t make it out of bed.
I couldn’t have imaged myself with a steady job, forget about being part of a management team.
I sat in a two hour meeting with my peers, and our consultant (an amazingly brilliant human whose words I hang onto for the nectar of taught fruits, a man whose equally amazing and brilliant son used to hold my seat in the company until his relapse, accidental overdose, and death, just six months ago) presented me with an award.
Taking a compliment from this person I respect is one thing, but receiving this sort of recognition for my work ethic is something else.
Money can present a sense of acknowledgement sometimes; this just feels like a real accomplishment.
I get paid to be myself.
What the fuck?
I also get paid to learn, hang out with other alcoholics, and lead by example.
Again, what the fuck?
I’m the lead learner.
[ And I thought I hated school. ]
The reward I feel, is esteem I didn’t have before.
“Suit up and show up.” -Anonymous
For the next 30 days, I will honor being the first “Snowflake of the Month”.
And then I’ll pass it on.