Why when I make a silent vow to myself and take action to grow away from a person is it then the exact moment they reach out to me?
God is always challenging me to continue to go within; depth deepens and leaves its trail, like a kidney stone carving an exit. Excruciating.
Women from all angles.
Sometimes I cave; they have a piece of me whether known or not.
I’ve always given of myself too freely..
We’re connected + I miss her, but I can’t.
She’s in a relationship, yet I’m weak.
She’s from my past, and the past cannot change.
She’s gone.. In the grips of a progressive illness.
I can’t control myself.
It takes everything in me not to respond.
My raging reactive thoughts aren’t shared, for safety.. For another, and my self-esteem once there’s been an annihilation.
“Hey. Why do you ignore me? Can we talk soon?” -A
You must be drunk.
What are we going to talk about? ..Why you said you didn’t see a future with me? Why you’ve taken my best friend away?
Sometimes bridges are meant to be burned and not restored.
I was in love with the idea of you.
The glamorous lifestyle, your sex appeal, our perfect little sober family..
All for not.
I was fully committed for what?
Authentic relationships develop and unfold, they don’t go running back to their drug dealer for a false sense of self and gross validation.
I will not be swept under a rug.
And the beauty of another cannot fill the void that I tried to fill with you.
Flashbacks haunt me.
The fun we had makes me sick.
Change is gradual, but it feels like I lost you so suddenly.
Did we really know each other?
In hindsight, some say I dodged a bullet.
Babe, I would have taken that bullet.
“And acceptance is the answer to all my problems today.” -Anonymous